Project Plans (a reflection)!

I always find myself planning things, coming up with ideas, fleshing them out in my mind, and absolutely never writing anything (lol).

I have many, many things I want to do, so this is what I believe to be a realistic way to go about at least some of them, for no other reason than I think it'll make it easier to hold myself accountable for it if it's out here, laid out.

I feel most in my comfort zone with writing when typing out essays or poetry. Non-fiction feels, to me, like writing without commitment: less like effort and more like release. And my experience with fiction is limited to short-form, be it One-Act Plays or short little stories (any many story "concepts", unfinished comic scripts, etc). But the more time passes, the more I flirt with ideas for long-form content. And because I always like to dive before I dabble (and inevitably drown), I got attached to this one epic, expansive fantasy universe series I came up with (if you're curious, it's currently under the title Alabaster Isles on the Project section of this site, though there's not much there yet). I have a pretty solid mental map of what I want it to look like, but whenever I try taking steps towards putting it down, I overwhelm myself.

Well, I certainly don't want to give up on it, so I decided I'll work up to that level instead. So I had decided I would aim for something smaller and more self-contained: a short trilogy. I chose a concept I already had somewhat developed for that (Sora's, also at that section), and thought that since I was less invested in this idea, I could go about it feeling less pressure. I chose to make it middle grade to young adult level, inspired by book series like League of Princes, Magisterium, Jinx, and so on. Except, of course, as I started working on it I also became extremely attached to it, and also overwhelmed myself because duh a trilogy might be simpler than an expansive literary universe, but it's still a goddamn trilogy lol.

So I held my ambitions at an arm's distance yet again, and went down another peg. I will work myself up to that, too. So, I decided to write a single novel. To get started. A simple concept, young adult, short and sweet. Maybe I'll make it a romance, even, since that's not super in my comfort-zone. I chose to resuscitate an idea I had when I was a teenager, and I have been brainstorming and thinking about it for a while now, and I'm fairly confident and a good deal less intimidated about the possibility of completing it.

The thing is, I need to be realistic about it. I'm a college student and I have a job. I have many reasons (and excuses) that normally keep me from writing and avoiding long-term commitments like this. But I will lose my mind if I just keep telling myself to wait until I have more time or until conditions are different: I will take that first step. I will complete a novel manuscript, and that's that. I don't even care if it ever gets published, or polished, I don't even care if it's good, I simply must follow through and know it's possible to finish an ambitious project. It will be my learning experience and stepping stone towards larger undertakings. This is my big statement that I will probably feel guilty about the many times I fail to feel confident throughout this journey, but I am putting it out here and holding myself to it: all it needs to do to succeed, is to exist. That will be good enough.

So what am I actually, actively doing?

I wanted to do something like NaNoWriMo, but again, due to school and work I'm not sure how realistic that is, and I also have not decided if putting a challege-like pressure on this is something that would help or hinder progress. For now, I have been brainstorming the concept and fleshing things out, mentally defining the scope and goals and limitations of what the novel will be. Once I am satisfied with that, I will create visuals for it (I found that making illustrations of faux-posters or covers is very motivating!) And then, I'll move on to outlining the overall story, breaking it down into chapters, and outlining what each chapter should accomplish. Finally, I'll write and edit my little heart away. By then, I expect to have decided whether or not I am taking up a time-frame challenge or if I'm just doing this in my own boundaries, but either way, I'm excited for what's to come!